The Different Types of People on Ebaumsworld PART THREE

#3. The "FAIL!" Man


I’m not sure how the whole ‘you fail’ thing came about but I’m guessing it was through mass media. Then we applied it to funny pictures and called it a day. There are many things that people fail at doing- flips, dancing, playing with fireworks, jumping off of swings…but normally it includes a motorcycle/car, a type of wall, and someone very stupid. ‘FAIL’ed people have to fit into three categories to be labeled ‘FAIL!’. (Of course, any attempt at anything that fails in a horrible, funny way can automatically be labeled "FAIL!".)



  1. If the person gets hurt by doing something stupid on purpose.



  1. If they hurt someone else by doing something stupid on purpose.



  1. If Shaquille O’ Neal tries to rap.



That’s it. If you see something questionable- try using my helpful guide provided below.


Does this person fail?




                                                         Does the person get hurt?

                                                                       /              \

                                                               Yes /                \ No

                                                                     /                   \          

                                 Does the video make you laugh?         Go fuck yourself.

                                                       /            \

                                              Yes  /              \  No

                                                     /                \

                        Is there a point in the video               Go fuck yourself.  

                   where you can SEE something

                bad is going to happen very soon?

                          /                           \

                 No   /                             \ Yes

                        /                               \

Questionable “failness”      Did the person ACTUALLY

but it may be just you.       fail at doing something?

                                                     /                \

                                           No    /                  \ Yes

                                                   /                    \

                                     Go fuck yourself.         Fail. Was it done in a glorious,

                                                                        unsurpassed way?

                                                                               /          \

                                                                       Yes /            \  No

                                                                             /              \

                                                                     Epic fail.      Just fail then. Oh and

                                                                     Nice one.          go fuck yourself.



As you can see, you have a higher chance of fucking yourself than seeing a true ‘FAIL’ video.

I don't know how many times I have read "FAIL! lol" in a comment. It's like whoever posts the fail comments doesn't see how many people would love to bash his or her teeth in. That should be the true epic fail- You fail at life and you're oblivious to it.

Uploaded 06/27/2008
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