I deticate this blog to the_big_bad. He is just so awesome that's why!
Once Upon a time it was the last day of school. Finally kindergarten is finally over for me. When I get into grade 1 I'll be 24. Did you know the cow jumped over the moon? That story was amazing. Anyways where was I? My teacher was handing out the report cards. I got mine I revived all A's or were they F's? I don't know I still haven't properly learned my alphabets. The clock struck 3:30, the bell rang, and all of our desks combusted into flames. True story I swear. The whole class ran around screaming. One kid was screaming "burn all the Irish, kill them all".... No one talks or listens to that kid. I ran outside the class and the school mascot "Josh the Gator" was eating all of our goats. First off I never knew alligators ate coats. The water sprinklers finally kicked in and the alligator ran away. Because everyone knows alligators are terrified of the water. The fire was blocking all exit and the water sprinklers was actually sprinkling gasoline. Fucking cut backs. Before I burst into flames I ran to the roof top. Who do I see on the roof? Alice Cooper, he starts to sing "School's out for the summer." I walk over to him and I punch him in the face. There is a time and place for that type of shit! It is called a concert. You don't see me singing "I'm leaving on a jet plane' during September 11th do you? So finally I jump off the school roof and I land on my feet. Thank god for Tubby Jason for breaking my fall. I ran home to safety. When I got home I totally forgot to pick up my little sister. I hope my parents don't mind an extra crispy daughter.