The Truth Behind Engagement Rings

So after reading Tyaeda's blog about getting engaged and not wanting a ring it made me remember a memory that I didn't remember until just now.  The truth behind engagement rings.

So back in the day (this is how any good story starts....that's a fact) women were expected to be virgins until they got married.  But often times, they would start sexin it up after they got engaged.  Men, being so very opportunistic and clever, started to ask their lady's hand in marriage, get her all sexed up and then leave her ass before the wedding, tarnished, devirginized, and not very appealing to other suitors.  In Mexico, they call this, "No bueno." 

So a group of the worlds most evil geniuses (the fat chick from the little mermaid, Melisa Joan Hart, Skeletor, and your mother in law... to name a few) got together to form a plan.  They would start requiring the men to buy a ring to give their fair lady, when asking for her hand.  It was an insurance policy to be blunt.  The more valuable the ring was, the more you valued your chicks lady parts/virginity.  Now you were making an investment, so you are far less likely to run off after getting it in.  (Beyonce even made the evil genius comity's anthem into a hit song) So now that guys are spending all their cash on this beautiful ring, it makes them think long and hard (pun intended) before purposing, and makes them stay with their lady because of the money they spent. 

So there that is.  The truth in exact detail of how it all went down.  Here is video proof taken 300 years ago on the first camera phone of the females mating dance.

Uploaded 12/27/2011
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