The Universe According To Me

So there are a couple things that are just flat out wrong to me.  Well, there are a lot of things, but for the sake of that last comment and my broken delete button we will pretend it's just two things. 

First... when a girlfriend/wife is taller than her boyrfriend/husband.  It's just weird to me.  I don't know why.... but I'm not a fan.

The other is when a guy can beat up his dad.  It's like a glitch in the matrix or something.  You should never be able to beat up your dad, just as he should never be able to beat up his dad and so on.  Of course this stops at the oldest one to be alive the day you were born.  In my case it was my great grandfather.  Him, my grandfather, and father could all kick my ass.  And I have trained for years, but it would be no help.  However... my great great grandpa... I would fuck him up.

I generally  stick with the thought of, You don't really want to fuck with older dudes anyway.  They've been through a lot and there is a kind of strength they all have from working with their hands and doing manual labor that is lost on today's youth because it's made of up entitled pussies.

My father is a pretty calm guy.  But when I was young and he was an alcoholic it was a different story.  He was much scarier back then.  Now he's a big softy that is impossible to make mad.  One day he was out with his girlfriend.  They were walking somewhere and out of nowhere a guy grabs my dad from behind and his buddy comes up to try and mug him.  They were mid twenties about.  If only they knew.  My dad turned around and laid the first guy out in one punch.  The other guy started at my dad, but when he turned around the guy thought the better of it and ran.  So my dad did what any normal man would do, he turned to the guy on the ground and told him to follow his friend or bones would be broken.  My dad called me and told me the story and all I could think of was, "My dad is James Bond...with a beard."  I was very proud of him that day.  It also drove home the fact that  I would just never be able to take him.  Even if I pulled a sneak attack on him. 

So if any of you don't believe me, go try and punch your dad this Thanksgiving.  See what happens, but don't say I didn't warn you.  And if for some reason you end up winning.... you're probably a witch.
Uploaded 11/22/2011
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