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There's something wrong with me

I just woke up, covered with sweat, shaking all over, dry heaving, and shitting the bed.  Every psuedovomit pulls the stitches in my abdomen.  I sprayed yellow diarhea all over my sheets.

 

I just got done cleaning up all the shitty sheets and putting them in the washing machine.  I've got sweat pouring down my face as I type this and the thermometer in my mouth just went up over 100.  There's definitely something wrong with me.

 

As soon as I told my wife that there was something wrong with me, I was sick, and shit in the bed, she got up and went into the guest bedroom.  Depending on how high my fever is, I have to decide whether or not to dial 911.  Don't want my wife's sleep to get disturbed.

 

It looks like my wife might get her divorce.

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