I read SJG's blog about the soap opera drama at her local school. I've seen similar situations at restaurants I worked at when I was younger. It invariably fucks up the lives of everybody involved to varying degrees. Everybody there has seen it before when other people did it, but they think that it won't be a disaster for them. It's like the videos of people you see setting themselves on fire or using a motorcycle to make a merry-go-round spin too fast. Why would people do that if there's cautionary tales about what a disaster it is all over the place?
I don't cheat on my wife. I never have. There are too many reasons not to. Many of the reasons not to are moral issues such as the massive violation of trust involved with the act. Although I'm concerned with the moral issues, that's not what I'm going to talk about. Let's pretend there are NO moral considerations involved with cheating on your spouse. Let's pretend that I was a lecherous shithead with no concept of right and wrong (a sociopath perhaps, dangle). I'm still not going to cheat on my wife.
First of all, the enormous hassle involved with all that running around is pretty much a deal breaker for me. The litany of pathetic mewling lies you have to tell to cover your ass would be exhausting. Making up shit about who's been calling you, why you're coming home from work late, and where you're going on the weekend would presuppose you have to keep track of dozens of lies. If this is somebody you're going to spend the rest of your life with, you have to keep track of many of those forever. Fuck that. But let's say that I'm into that. I love the drama of creating a bizarre story for myself to live in. Even if I'm a wannabe drama queen who has no concept of right and wrong, I'm still not going to cheat on my wife.
The consideration is the problem with STDs. One of the perks of a monogamous marriage is I don't have to use a condom due to worry of STDs and unwanted pregnancy. I have to say that I'm not a big fan of condoms. Before my vasectomy, I sometimes would have to use condoms. Rarely my wife would have to take a medication that interfered with birth control pills. We'd use a condom for the month or two that she'd be on it. Like I said, I'm not a fan. If I was going to get some strange, I'd have two choices: risk exposure to disease and knocking up a skank or use a condom. What's worse is that even with a condom, you can get crabs. You just try to tell your wife that you gave her crabs because you got them from a toilet seat. Nobody is going to but that bullshit. The best 'I gave you crabs' excuse I ever heard was still not received well. The husband worked at Dell Computers doing microchip assembly, I'm sorry, honey, I used somebody else's clean suit. His wife still didn't buy it. If I'm going to risk my marriage it's not going to be to fuck with a rubber on.
I also could never live with somebody who thought I was cheating on them. All the placating you'd have to do would just be a total ass pain. You're just being jealous or Why can't you give me my privacy? every 15 minutes would kill me.
I've also put almost two decades of training into my spouse. I've showed her where all the buttons are and explained in detail how they should be pressed. Any utility I got out of the thrill of strange would be balanced by the loss of training.
I have no idea why infidelity is so rampant. The upsides seem so few and the downsides are legion. Maybe if I was getting no sex at home or my marriage was a living hell, I'd do it. But if those conditions existed, I'd either fix them or get out of the marriage before I cheated. I think the answer must be that most people are fucking retards or they're lowlifes.