Unicorn Theory

Unicorn Theory is a scientific ideology which factates that: Once a great factoid of ages ago, the totally radical Unicorns came from space with their gnarly robots to create a planet that liked fun and spread the awesomeness of Rock'n'Roll. After factoid centuries later, some of these evolved into Robot-Bunnies. These bunny-bots misunderstood the purpose of the planet and blamed humanity for the Great Unicorn Disappearance and began the Great Bunny-Bot Revolution. Bunny-Bots are using sonar to detect carrots in order to take over the planet, one vegetarian at a time. Over the past few weeks I have come to realize the drastic threat that these misguided Robot-Bunnies have brought to the well being of this world created for awesomeness. Their silly antics have been slow enough to not muster much attention, but the great Bunny-Bot Revolution, in its sonar detection of carrots, has been found to be the number one cause of Global Warming in the Universe. Harmless seeking of carrots is done with sonar satellite units that emit radioactive rays all around our planet. Because of the insanely fast [re]production of bunny-bots, there are more of these units emitting more of these danger rays across the planet. By reducing the Bunny-Bots' need for sonar carrot detection, we can do our part to slow Global Warming significantly. I propose that, when a Bunny-Bot is encountered in the street, a handful of carrots be placed as an offering to reduce sonar-radiation/use. I also propose that there be more awesome Rock'n'Roll more of the time in order to better hail the Mothership. In good time, this Carrot Conundrum may prevent the disruption that the sonar waves have been creating, and the Mothership will be able to locate these lost Bots by our awesome Rock'n'Roll. On this day, Unicorns will feel the noise and Rock our Solar System with happy sparkle rainbow space star rays again. Remember: every time you see a Rainbow, that's the disrupted signal of the Space Unicorn Mothership trying to find its way home.

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Uploaded 11/21/2008
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