Sometimes I fucking hate waitresses. I know what you're thinking- "aren't you a waitress?" Yes, I am. However, there are specific types of waitresses that I can't stand.

Example 1. The Fake.

You know this one. It is the girl who comes up with a fake ass smile telling you how much she loves your new Christmas sweater. She doesn't really like it. They normally have huge chunks of mascera dangling from their eyes. Disgusting. These people always try to dig into your life and find something about you that they can connect with in hopes that you'll give them a better tip.

Example 2. The 'I don't give a shit' server.

This person comes to the table, gets your drinks, gets order, gives you food, and gives you the bill. The server won't get your refills. You would have to ask for one. They want to do the minimum amount of work. Of course, they want the maximum amount of money. They will always give you attitude when you want the smallest thing from them.

Example 3. The server who wants to go home.

I shit you not. I know servers who comes in and immediately say that they want to go home. Not only this but at the end of the day, shift change is at 4:00. If you sit down ten till 4, these servers will let you sit for an extra ten minutes just so they don't have to stay on the floor despite the fact that it's easy to switch a table over to a new server when they come on the floor. I was on the floor with a girl who did that the other day. She got so mad at the people because they wanted to order. WTF? It's your goddamn job. Do it.

Example 4. The ones who always need someone to pick up a shift for them.

I fucking hate this one especially. Sure, everyone needs a shift off now and then and I'm one of the few people who will pick up double shifts for extra cash. However, these assholes text you in the middle of the night, after they have been drinking, only to ask you if you can take their Sunday closing shift. Fuck no. You want to get rid of it because it's a shitty shift! Why would I want it? Not only that but after I politely decline, they text back angry.

This happened to me last night. I had to be a bitch to lay it straight and he apologized but it REALLY pissed me off. I will never again pick up one of his shifts. Fuck that.

Example 5. The Bitch

This server has an extreme attitude and it seems like everything you say just pisses her off more. Please don't tip these people. I'm saying this as a server. That actually means something coming from a server. I overtip everywhere I go and I leave lower than 10% for these bitches.

Anyway, I decided to write this because I know everyone has stories about waitresses and it's kinda nice to bitch about bad service. If you want, leave a story about your interactions with these types of waitresses.

FYI, because I know some people go off on a rant about how stupid and uneducated I am to be a server, yes, I chose this job. I chose it because it's easy money to pay for school, great hours, and I don't have to sit in a fucking cubicle all day. I'm happy with my job right now and yes, I do report 100% of my tips.