This really bursts my genital blisters! I don't know who this "crashxbang" chick is but out of nowhere she leaves a comment on my profile that pissed me off!  Calling me a slut?  I don't know where she found out about my past, but I'm a changed man and if she can't accept that, well that's her problem!  So I told that bitch off:

Look you!  My time as a male prostitute is over, OK?!?!  It was only for about 9 years, and I quit that shit when I was 15 and haven't looked back since!

I'll have you know I threw away my 2-stroke gas-powered dildo, my latex body suit, my Kama Sutra book, my Twister set, my leather straps, my black light, my giant baby pacifier, my giant baby suit, my gorilla suit, my squirrel suit, my Manuel Noriega look-a-like suit, my giant chess set shaped like phalli, my fully equipped video recording studio, my high heels, my stripper pole, my tube top, my inflatable cow, my real cow, my little pony, my "lucky" condom, my massage shower head, my massage shower head attachment set, my '86 crown vic with sound system, tinted windows and fully reclining bench seats, O.J.'s glove, the hidden camera, the fake tampon the hidden camera was in (actually I kept that), the fake plastic cucumbers, the 3 jars of KY, the 5 gallon bucket of KY, the 50 gallon drum of KY, the hydralic lift, the Neverland Ranch, the 180 amp 220 volt welder, the sugar-free peanut butter (always use sugar-free!), the 12-hour supply of oxygen, the custom-built ceiling-mounted double-hinged inverted spider swing with optional mounting points and quick-release levers plus catch net for sudden emergencies, the original tape reels of all 98 episodes of Gilligan's Island remade into hard core pronogrpahy (they still never get off the island...), and of course my pepper spray because you know there are some really freaky people out there that wanna make you do shit you don't want to do...

Just what gives you the right to call me a slut, anyway?