Why do the gods scorn my genius?
To whomever is beyond the confines of my reality, I ask:
Do you really expect me to wake up in a jolly mood every day and just pretend that my mornings have not been chiseled at with such blatant disdain?
Is your omniscience unaware of the unjust act which branded my existence? Could you really be blind to the sorrowful beginnings of my every day?

Oh how I covet your gifts of disparagement.

To the people reading this, you must understand
that this has been written with as much reluctance as I could reasonably feign,
but no, there is NO WAY I can keep it in for any longer. It needs to be let out.
It needs to be let out right now!

HOW DARE THEY CHANGE THE SHAPE OF TRIX CEREAL!!!!

My mornings depended on those splendidly formed pieces of fruit.
What assholes decided to change them into ovals?
WHY! Why! God damnit. WHY!!!!!!!

My once treasured awakenings have been malformed into blinding mopes of discomfort all because I can not enjoy my trix cereal KNOWING that I should be looking down at floating bits of fruit AND NOT disappointing circles.
No Longer can I be excited to find out what secret promotional fruit shape I was going to find next.

I blame the corporate phantoms, hiding in their offices, playing with their round toys, and their round belongings, and their round wives and round children, and their round gold coins rolling around cause to them everything is round, and they don’t care about anything besides changing things that are perfectly good the way they are, into ROUND infuriating ovals,
I hope those twisted inconsiderate bigots burn in hell.

I can see them now, plotting to dismember Count Chocula.
they shall not touch his glorious hind for I am assembling an elite team
to combat these fuckers,
Its time to take down those pretentious cereal warlords once and for all.