Womens Rules for Men
Yeah, that's right, I'm goin there. I'm sick of you men with your hanging genitals tell women what YOUR rules are. So...here are some of OUR rules. Just for the record...balls are fucking nasty.
1. Put the fucking toilet seat down. You have the luxury of standing when you piss, we do not. And after listening to your retarded, incoherent, drunken rambles, we're not always going to pay attention to the toilet seat when we have to piss. If you don't, and we fall in, and get that cold, undoubtedly un flushed piss water on our asses because of you, there will be hell to pay.
2.You wanna tell us how much hotter your ex was in bed than me? Expect to hear about how much bigger my ex's dick was.
3. We don't really think we look fat in that dress....we're just testing you, and you better pass, cause it is us who determines the amount of pussy you get. (If you're a DECENT guy anyway.)
4.If you're going to admire another woman in my presence, when we catch you, don't try to save you ass with a comment like "I was just thinking she's not as pretty as you." We're not fucking stupid, we know she's prettier than us, and we know all you were thinking is how much you want to stick your dick in her ass. Lying to us just pisses us off more.
5. If you don't act like a soap opera guy, don't expect us to dress like a Victoria's Secret model.
6. If you ask a question you don't really want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. Don't bitch about it, you should've seen it coming.
7. Quit asking us for head every 5 fucking minutes. Shut the fuck up about it and we may do it more. It's not that pleasurable to have a meaty rod shoved down our throats, don't believe me? You try.
8. For those of us that don't like anal. Personally, I will gladly let you fuck me in the ass....under the condition that you let me strap on a dildo and fuck you up the ass with it first so you know what the fuck you're doing to me. That shit hurts.
9. We shit, it stinks, deal with it.
10. When we take an hour to get ready, shut up and deal with it, it'll be worth it later that night in the sack.
11. It's not a fact that we're smarter than you, nor is it a fact that we're superior, it's just common knowledge.
12. Don't start shit you don't have the balls to finish.
13. Regardless of if we spend the night or not. If you have the balls to donkey punch us, expect to wake up with your dick super glued to your thigh. Have fun in the hospital, asshole.
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