The Retard Bear of Doom
I'm sure by reading the title many of you will be able to guess what this blog is about.
About a month ago, my friends and I went to see the movie Prince Caspian. I liked the books when I was 6 years old, and I thought the first movie was pretty kickass. Anyway, I'm not writing a movie critique here. Towards the end of the movie, the youngest girl (Lucy) decides to go out by herself to search for the Jesus-analog-character of the movie. All this dramatic movie is playing through the scene, blah blah. Then the older sister says the younger won't be alone. Oooh yay, super dramatic now. Then the swash-buckling mouse says "For Aslan," and then holy shit, the drama really goes off. Right now it's like watching Gladiator or 300 or somethin. But then, outta fucking nowhere, a bear steps out of the shadows. Now, this bear hasn't been seen for the whole fucking movie, and he definetly wasn't there a few minutes ago.
This bear has a look on his face. A retarded look.
In the most retarded voice you can possibly imagine, the bear says "For Aslan" as well. Everyone in the theatre held their breath for a second, before bursting out in a colossal "WTF???" This bear literally sounds like an 8 year old boy with mental retardation. If you try and say For Aslan like a retard, I guarantee you will sound more intelligent than this goddamn bear. Any ideas why this fuckin retard bear was in the film?