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Winnie the Pooh

*DISCLAIMER: This blog is not to be taken seriously.  It is for entertainment purposes only.  I can't believe I had to write a disclaimer.

 

Okay, I admit it. I'm not a perfect parent. I let my daughter watch some TV. Actually, the only thing she seems to actually want to sit and watch is the Winnie the Pooh DVD (the classic Winnie the Pooh from the late 70's- the one that I watched when I was little and loved). Other than that, I just put it on for some background noise for me- I dislike silence.

Anyway, I was watching Winnie the Pooh with her, and couldn't help but noticed how fucked up all the characters really truly are.


Christopher Robin: He hallucinates about talking stuffed animals. He's either dropping acid or needs some sort of medication.

Winnie the Pooh: He has an obvious eating disorder. And he seems to be slightly mentally retarded. There's also the distince possibility that he smokes a lot of weed (he's always mellow and always has the munchies).

Owl: He's like an old man with Alzheimer's, telling the same stories over and over.

Rabbit: He has a major superiority complex. And some bad OCD. There is the possibility that he's smoking crack on the side.

Tigger: Definite ADHD. Needs Ridilin. Badly. And some speech therapy.

Piglet: He has a problem with being very codependent. Also, he needs speech therapy for his stuttering problem. I also think he's on speed.

Eeyore: He's a major depressive that is completely self pitying.

Roo: Slight case of ADD. Will probably become one of those rebelious teens.

 

The only character that didn't seem to have a problem is Kanga. She's very proper, kind, and maternal. She's a bit of a worrier, but what mother isn't when it comes to their child? The rest of them are pretty fucked up.

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