What are you supposed to say?
I can be very articulate if I want to be. I can usually find the right words to express my feelings on a subject. But I've never been too good at consoling.
I'm a member of a certain social networking site for mothers. I've met a lot of really great women that I get along with (unfortunately, only one of them lives near me). They helped me greatly through the year that my husband was away in Iraq. They've all been awesome to me, and we've become quite tight knit. We have even exchanged addresses so we could write each other.
On July 19th, one of these women lost her husband to a massive brain anuerysm. I never thought I could feel so much hurt for someone I'd never met in person. She's a great woman, and her husband was a sweetheart. They had three children together, all in their teens now (15, 17 and 19, if I'm remembering correctly).
I've never been good with consoling someone after the loss of a loved one. The best I could do for my dad when he lost his dad was give him a hug. I can't do that for her. I can't tell her that it'll be alright, because I know it never will be the same for her. I can't say that I understand how she feels, because I don't, and that would be insulting to her pain. She's an atheist, so telling her that he's with God definitely won't do any good. And I feel like saying "sorry for your loss" just isn't enough...
My words are gone.