i have come to a conclusion. i am going to resume being the dickbag i was when i was in the army, but i am going to hone my cockheadedness to just people who annoy me or cross me instead of anyone within a 5 foot radius. this decision will probably fall to the wayside as soon as this manic upswing in my personality subsides to the dark doldrums of near depression for no explainable reason. then i will just be a complete shitstain to everyone. i am probably bi-polar or some other shit i dont believe in. it's all a marketing scheme by pharmaceutical companys to get us to buy more drugs. i looked up my symptoms on webmd and it came back with a cute 2 page treasure trove of psychological disorders and chemical imbalances and all sorts of other shit. so what am i to do? i think i function very well day to day, so why go to the doc? he's just gonna find out sumthin fucked up like i have colon cancer and its pressing against my spinal cord causing me to hear voices and shit like that. i dont wanna deal with that shit. it's been acouple of month since i been shit faced drunk, maybe thats what i need. i need to eat up them hydrcodone that i got when i got burned( i only had 4 of em and that was commin from the hospital). my birffday is commin up soon, maybe i need to take some days off so as i dont freak out in public or something. the voices aren't really like evil voices anyways. they haven't said anything negative since i was 23 when they were telling me i had 2 years to live.and see! they were wrong then anyways! i dont know. i just have this i dont give a fuck attitude all of the sudden.