Once upon a time I took driving lessons. �Dec 1st was my very first time going behind the wheel. In the car with me is my mother because there is no way I am paying $500 for another person to teach me how to drive. I figured if my mother is good enough to teach me how to go to the bathroom then why not teach me to drive?� Ok so I start the car up and I floor it just like the gas peddle in a bumper car.� Not quite the same thing. I made a 1986 Toyota go 0 to 70mph in 0.3 seconds. That is not good for a car that old. That was my first mistake my second mistake happened in a mall parking lot.� I noticed there were no cars in the parking lot so I sped up.� While this is happening my mother is screaming and crying in fear for her life.� I did not realize that this parking lot had speed bumps.� Well when you hit a speed bump at 77mph you send the car flying 30 feet in the air. While I was in the air I was thinking of the perfect song to go with this moment in time. That song would have to be Star Wars theme.� When the car landed I was hoping to see a message telling me Insane Jump complete you earned $3256. Ok so now my mom is calling help on the cell phone, but we drive through a tunnel and the phone gets cut off.� On the other side of the tunnel is the highway. My mom is praying to god for her to live through this.� I didnt just get into a car accident and kept driving I caused a giant massacre and kept on driving.� This massacre was so big even Hitler showed up in the back seat of the car and told me to calm down.� True story I swear.� When I arrived home my mother got out of the car and kissed the ground.� On the trunk of the car is a corpse of an Emo kid.� My mom was shocked to see this.� I just tell her.�� Oh dont worry it was just an Emo, those kids want to die anyways. �