Actual Elementary Responses to Christmas Related Questions
Disclaimer: This is not copypasta, per se. I am actually reading it directly from the local newspaper in front of me. I am not using names, and all sentences are taken down word for word. The following is 100% written by little kids:
What do you think is Santa's favorite kind of music? What is his favorite song?
Ho!Ho! I think Santa's favorite kind of music is Boogie music because Boogie music is dance music. Ho!Ho! I think Santa's favorite song is "Everyone dance now" because it's dance music and I think Santa's like to dance, dance.
I think Santa's favorite music is Christmas music because he made Christmas. I think his favorite song is "Here comes Santa Clause" because it talks about Santa coming to your house and he likes giving presents. (I see, it was Santa who made Christmas!)
How old do you think the oldest elf is? Do you know anyone that old?
The oldest elf is 2000 years old. He's smart and plus he knows how to work with little tools. He's two feet tall. He's cool, joyful, and not much of a talker. His name is Mikel Jacksin (are you reading this shit?!)
I now how old the oldest elf is. He is 900 years old. I know this from the Elf movie. He is tall he wears long elfits and he has hairy legs. He has orange curly hair and is kind. He us to live in the North pole but now he lives in New York. His name is Elf. (Such a creative name)
And finally, the coup de grace:
The oldest elf is 500 years old. He lives in an old cottage made of wood and the tolet is made of metal. He is in a wheelchair because he got hit by a raindeer. He has a green suit and a gree hat, with a bell and a robotic arm because he fell off a Christmas tree and lost his arm falling.
What a morbid little fucker.