I Hate Christmas!!!
I know the title seems a little harsh and I dont truly hate Christmas, I just hate what it does to some people. I mean we had the Wal-Mart stampede that killed an employee and apparently there was a rash of Christmas tree thefts around the country. Ok, I realize times are tough, but if youre to poor to buy a Christmas tree, then grab a saw go into the woods and cut one down. Of course if you live in places such as Florida, Hawaii, Arizona, etc, finding an appropriate tree can be a little difficult. Anyway, then you have the self entitled rude as hell shoppers. I remember the days of the Cabbage Patch doll snatchers who would sneak up to helpless young children in the stores, snatch the last Cabbage Patch doll out of their arms and make a break for the cash registers. Well, Im here to tell you that it still happens. My wife was recently in a Toys r Us attempting to put a very large and bulky Hanna Montana doll house in her cart when a knight in shining armor came along and offered to help her. My wife gratefully accepted the offer and this fine young man grabbed a hold of the box and took off to the front of the store with the doll house. My wife stood flabbergasted, but thankfully there were still two more. So she thought; while she was distracted with the dude who pretended to help her, someone else had come along and grabbed another one, which left only one. My wife is a pretty sharp cookie, so this time she struggled and got the last one into the cart by herself, and as she was preparing to move on, another gentleman came by, and seeing my wife with the last doll house, he made a bee line right for her cart. Now, you gotta understand, my wife is a very peace loving, charming, beautiful and caring woman, but when pushed too far, look out!!!!! When the gentleman put his hands on the Hanna Montana doll house, my wife was not going to lose another one, so she steps up to him and quietly threatens him with some sort of bodily harm that I had no idea a person could administer. This doofus just looks at her, so she yells help and attracts the attention of other shoppers. This idiot continues to try and take the doll house, so my wife yells Let go of my purse! Finally, the dude stops and walks off. Way to go honey!!! I mean that sincerely. Needless to say she got the doll house, but there were two more attempts on it before she got to the registers.
So here it is December 25, 2008, approximately 5:45 AM and I am sitting in the briefing room listening to the late Christmas Eve early Christmas Day festivities. Two family fights and some feisty drunks, not bad except one of the family fights involved a visiting El Paso, TX cop who decided after getting beat up by his in laws, he wanted to get beat up by members of my respected department. I mean professional courtesy only goes so far and we dont really extend that courtesy to piece of shit crooked cops who like to beat their wives in a drunken fit of rage. He finally got to be on the receiving end of a night stick and many tasers were deployed.
So now it is 7:00 AM and believe it or not somebody is actually trying to break into Kohls department store. Guess they wanted to get a jump start on those after Christmas sales. Now it is approximately 1:30 PM and some drama queen is trying to kill herself by stabbing herself in the stomach with a ball point pen. I hope she remembered to take the cap off first.
Oh well, its not all bad working Christmas Day, I mean I am making roughly $50.00 per hour. Yes, 2:00 PM and another $50.00 in my pocket.