I AM A PERFECT HUMAN and other lies
all my teeth are straight and i never need to go to the dentist.
i have perfect washboard abs. i am totally RIPPED.
all women want to fuck me on first sight. i never have to "spit game".
i have a luscious full head of hair, and it always lays perfectly.
i am an exelent singer, dancer, and can play any musical instrument.
i succeed at EVERYTHING i attempt. i have never failed.
i don't produce waste. my body is so in tune that i use everything that i eat.
my IQ is off the scale. i scored so high on the SAT that i immediatly got a masters degree in everything after the test.
i once punched a man so hard that his pregnant wife had a miscarrage and the kid came out with a black eye and broken jaw.
i dont worry about money. i have a large following of people who claim me as their god and pay me as such.
i am in the Guinness World Record Books as having the worlds largest penis. many of women have be hospitalized from my gigantic phalus.
i was approached by both the democratic and republican parties to represent them in the presidental race. i declined because after just one month in office everyone would want me to serve forever based appon the fact that i would have solved all of our problems by then. i dont wanna be a king.....yet.
i can fly.
the story of Jesus was based off of my life, but i dont die like a pussy at the end.
holy shit am i bored or what?