If there's anything I've ever wanted out of life, besides pulling off a diamond heist, deflecting bullets with a sword, winning a dog-sled race, owning a sports car, or being able to slow down time at will, it's to have a really sweet nickname.

Not like Winny, or Sport, or any of that bullshit. I mean a really, really sweet nickname. Something like Gospel, or Bishop, or Tex, or Shooter. Or Laredo....Yea, I like Laredo. I actually knew a guy once whose last name was Gospel, and he went by it. Think of how sweet that one is. Turns out he was the biggest nerd I've ever met. Not like the cool nerd that can tell you sweet facts about video games, but the kind of nerd that nobody really likes.

Unfortunately, I was not the type of guy whom nicknames stuck to. Nope, I was always Dan. Not some variation of my last name, not Mr. ------, nothin'. And especially not Bishop, or Gospel or somethin sweet.

Then one fateful day I played Enter the Matrix for the PS2, and decided that sparks was the nickname for me. I tried with all my might to get that nickname to stick. I only had one friend who would call me that, and only when I tried refusing any other name. Needless to say, the name didn't stick.

Yup, so thats the reasoning behind my profile name. Just in case you were wondering. Oh, and if you were wondering, (which I would bet my left and possibly right nut that you weren't), I met that guy named Gospel when I was drunk and I could not get over the sweetness of his lastname. And then I had sex with his girlfriend.

The End.