You Crochity Woman
so the other night we stayed out a bit late with a few friends and by the time we got back to his mom's, the house was all locked up for the night. ol' boy takes out his keys to unlock the door and as soon as we step inside, his sister's asshole dog starts going apeshit. we stand there in the foyer doing one of those whisper yells to try and get the dog to stfu before he wakes up the whole house. of course it was too fucking late.
his sister, asleep on the couch just 5 minutes before pokes her face up, bed head and all with this disgruntled look on her face. then out comes momma bear just in time to witness my boyfriends stiffled yells. "baxter, its ok! its just me, its ok. its ok! its ok! SHUT THE FUCK UP DOG!" he might as well have scuffed the pope's pumas.
"RYAN HE IS JUST PROTECTING HIS HOUSE! YOU TWO PROBABLY SCARED THE HELL OUT OF HIM THE WAY YOU CAME BARRELING THROUGH THE DOOR! I COULD HEAR YOU FROM ALL THE WAY IN MY ROOM! YOU WOKE ME OUT OF A DEAD SLEEP! YOUR GIRLFRIEND CAN SLEEP AT HER OWN HOUSE TONIGHT!" bla bla wah wah..whatever generic crap moms like to spew.
apparently the sound of a key slipping through a lock at 2am is equivalent to that of a small atomic bomb. but the sound of me slipping through a window and screwing her son from two doors down? nothing.