Last weekend my best friend called me up to go out and do some karaokee at the "Wrinkle Ranch"... usually I make an excuse not to go, but my bf and I were looking to get out of the house anyway so we accepted the offer and made our way back to my crack head home town for some drunken performances.

Things were good for a while.  I got up and sung Fionna Apple - Criminal, and Janis Joplin - Move Over... had a few drinks, met up with some people I hadn't seen or heard from in about 3 years, and just enjoyed a good night.   Then my best friend got drunk - and bored. There wasn't enough retards at the bar we were at, so we chugged em back and left for another karaokee bar a few blocks away.  There were definitely more retards there, but by then I was also drunk and didn't care.

I sung a couple more songs (Sublime Santeria, and Janis Joplin - Bobby mcgee) and before we knew it, it was 1am and almost last call.  The karaokee DJ stopped putting people up and started playing some music.   Like good ol times my best friend and I started dancing to the music like the little whores we once were.  We were probably sloppy messes, but we were having fun and were both pretty plastered and still drinking. 

All of a sudden I couldn't find my boyfriend. We checked the bathrooms, walked up and down the street, and even walked to the closest Taxi stand and asked them if he had taken a fare back home... they wouldn't tell me.   Soon enough it was after last call and the bar evacuated single file.  Next thing I know theres a fight happening in front of me.  My best friend knew both particapants and broke up the fight.  It was then we were invited for a few more beers at one of the assailants apartments.  His name - "Juice" and he was a biker, and bar tender at one of the local bars... on our way back we encountered someone looking for coke.  My friend happened to know someone, and offered to call them if the guy let her use his cell phone.  He refused. So she said "No phone, no coke"... and he responded by calling her a stupid cunt.  And with that.. (only 15 mins after the last one) "Juice" and my best friend we punching this guy in the head... well mr.coke head was high and quickly got the upper hand.  He grabbed "juice" by his hippy hair and punched my best friend in the face. When I saw that.. I got involved... I had too.   Next thing I know it's just me and mr.coke head duking it out.  This guy was tough... I've never seen someone get punched in the jaw so many times without flenching... but that didn't stop me.... I had to fight at this point...  we fought until my best friend waved down a cop who arrested mr.coke head without asking the rest of us any questions... not even our names.

So after that was said and done, we continued our adventure over to Juice's crib where we iced our wounds with cold beer bottles.   We had a few more beers and my best friend started talking serious.  I don't see her do this very often but when it happens.. there's nothing you can really do to stop it.  She started talking about how the father of her baby is no longer living with them because she was bored of him "in the sack"... she started talking about how she enjoyed stealing a guys virginity and taking control.... etc etc.  All the while 60 year old Juice was asking her to change the subject... she did... and it happened to be to a more provacative topic.. our bisexuality.  She went on to say that I was the best oral she ever had and that she hasn't been able to find decent pussy latetly.... this didn't help the situation.  Next thing you know Juice is offering his "assistance" to her "needs" but she rejects.  Instead of being rude and leaving, she complained of back pain and allowed "Juice" to rub her back for her.  At this point, I wanted to leave bad.  The poor guy was being teased, and neither one of us were going to help him... but as long as there was beer in the fridge my best friend was staying.  After she asked him to stop, he asked her one more time if he could - you know.. and again she rejected.  Soon enough she was pretty close to passing out on his floor, and he was sitting next to me with his hand on my leg.  I was really really really uncomfortable and really really really wanted to leave.  I rejected him a few times, and of course he didnt' see anything wrong with anything he was doing or wanted to do, he tried to kiss my neck, and told him every reason I could think of why that wasn't a god idear and why it was best to "remain friends".  Eventually my best friend ran out of smokes, and I finally convinced her - with that reason, to leave.  Finally we left... got some smokes, and headed back to her place.  It was 6am when we got there... I slept for an hour and left without waking her and wandered over to my parents house for a ride back to my apartment.

My boyfriend was pretty pissed when I got home - as was I for him leaving me there to fend.  Aparentely he left because he didn't care to see me act like a whore at the bar dancing... and that's when I broke down.  I realized how my entire teenage life was hanging out with my best friend, and I was rudely reminded why I didn't like going back to my home town to party with old "friends".   I also realized how shitty it is without my man by my side to keep me safe.  None of what happened that weekend would have happened had my bf not left me in that god forsaken slum of a home town.  I realized how much I had actually changed over the past 5 years and how unfortunately little my best friend did. 

She called me last night and asked me why I left so early... I told her that I missed my man and wanted to go back to my boring - yet smart existance.  She laughed it off, and said "I dont get why he would just leave you here like that" (I know it's because he has more respect for me - even when drunk, than I had for myself.)   I told her that I wouldn't be coming back to the Wrinkle Ranch anymore, and that if she wanted to drink with me - it would have to be responsible and not in my home town. She didn't understand why, she didn't understand why I was angry, and she even stood up for her bar tender friend "Juice".  At the end of the conversation I told her that for the first time I was going to put my foot down, and cut all ties if I had to.  

It's really too bad.  Despite all of the bad, there was a lot of good.  There was a lot of hope for my best friend before she dropped out of college and had a baby... she used to want to escape that place as much as I did.. she wanted to make something of herself.  Sure we drank a lot.. but most teens do.... now shes an adult with major responsiblity - and a drinking problem...  This also reminds me of how bad my life could have easily became... how many mistakes I could have made, all the bad that could have happened, all the people I would have associated with, all the times where things went better than they should have..  I am extremely lucky and proud of myself for escaping that social life, for cutting ties when I had to, and fufilling my goal as little as it may seem - to leave that town forever and surround myself with good.

My boyfriend and I aren't mad at each other.  In fact as soon as I told him what happened, and that I wished he was there to help or prevent it he was pretty much over it.  We both apologized to each other.   I showed him a side of me that he had never met, nor wanted to see.  I am very ashamed of my past, and fortunate enough to have a man that is willing to look past it, and not encourage it. 

He is my new best friend.