Sex Toys vs. A man
The argument for having a man:
1. Protection against unwanted perversion
2. Someone there to do hard stuff - like opening pickle jars
3. The right to use sex as an asset
5. The feeling of purpose when we cook and clean for them
6. Sperm for babies
7. Someone there to suffer through PMS with
8. Can be used as a tool to piss off one's parents
9. Someone to do "all the work"
11. The potential of love and it's benefits
12. Someone to explain sports and their apparent significance to you.
The argument to having a sex toy instead of a man:
1. It will never annoy the shit out of you asking for sex
2. The ability to shamelessly discriminate size
3. The elimination of impotence
4. Can find both the clit - and the g spot
5. Batteries are cheaper than the ingredients for sandwiches
6. Let's you finish first
7. Doesn't leave dirty laundry and dishes all over
8. The toilet seat is always left down
9. Unless caught - your parents will never criticize you for having one, and will never dispute their flaws.
10. Penises don't vibrate, light up, or have ribs and bumps - not caused by STDs
11. Won't ever leave you for another woman.
12. Won't knock you up, leave you, and deny owing child support
13. Computer longevity due to the lack of 80 GB of porn and the viruses associated
14. Fantasia parties are more enjoyable than sorting through bar flies, old, married, gay men, dead-beat dads, and self-proclaimed comedians.
15. You couldn't fake it if you wanted to.
I wrote this because I found this to be very amusing...