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Not All Right-Wing Nutjobs Are Christians.

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     He Walked Out Of Wal-Mart With A Bird Feeder, A $30 Pellet Gun, And  An Extremly Large Bag Of Bird Seed, That If Sprinkled With Coconut Could Pass As An Entree At A Vegan Resturant. As He Got Into His Car He Was Fuming At All Of The Wasted Votes And Ignored Calls To Various Elected Officials. The Pompous Laughter Of The Interns That Manned The Phone Lines Echoed Through His Body Constantly.

     The Old Hatian Woman Claimed She Could Do It. She Required The Ground Bones Of Songbirds  As Payment. "A Meager Sum For What She Was Going To Do", He Thought As He Waited On His Back Pourch With His Sites On The Bird Feeder. After Several Hours He Had Managed To Kill Thirteen Sparrows, Seven Purple Martins, And A Lone Bluebird. 

     "Surely That's Enough", He Said To Himself As He Went To The Basement To Get The Food Dehydrator. 

     Unfortunatly It Was No Where Near The 100 Grams The Priestess Had Demanded, And The Speech Was In Three Hours. Against His Better Judgement He Thinned The Fine Powder With Baking Soda, The Grunge From The Blades Of Several Ceiling Fans, And Some Marble Dust Leftover From His Days As The "Winningest Middle School Football Coach Of All-Time." 

     As He Returned Home From The Trailer Park That Housed The Bulk Of The County's Hatian Community He Dropped His Keys On The Table And Flipped The TV To C-Span 2 Just As The Senator Clutched His Chest.

thaddeuspresley Uploaded 09/30/2010
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