An Asshole by Any Other Name Wouldnt Be As Lovable
Lets clear something up right now. Assholes are not douche bags; much in the same way a Gorilla is not a Chimpanzee. Same genus but there is a world of difference between them.
Assholes are successful, well connected, and take what they want in life. Everything an asshole does is focused on a positive outcome. Sure, some are left damaged in his wake, but no pain no gain right? In the end though no matter what kind of crap an asshole pulls, they still manage to come off as genuinely lovable people.
Assholes have an innate ability to appropriately use their charm when the situation calls for it. For example they know confidence will get them into the bar and chatting with a gorgeous woman much faster than being a nice guy, nice guys finish last you know. But they wouldnt act that way in a supermarket. Make sense? Good.
I google-ed the definition of asshole and the text book version was boring, I found this on UrbanDictionary.com
ass·hole / [as-hohl] An obnoxious, arrogant, self-centered male that some people just can't seem to get enough of. : Stan thought his relationship with Jenny was great until she dumped him for an asshole. First Known use of the word Asshole 14 century, neat!
Douche bags on the other hand. No one likes a douche bag, not even their mom. They are destructive; they will lie, cheat, steal, and cut corners to get what they want out of every situation. Because they only think of one person: themselves.
Why would you want to be an Asshole? Well, because assholes are successful, well connected, and take what they want in life. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be an asshole. They have tremendous likability that makes people what to be around them. The ying to their giant sized, egotistical yang. The life of social situations, now doesnt that sound like something youve always wanted?