There's something wrong with me
I just woke up, covered with sweat, shaking all over, dry heaving, and shitting the bed. Every psuedovomit pulls the stitches in my abdomen. I sprayed yellow diarhea all over my sheets.
I just got done cleaning up all the shitty sheets and putting them in the washing machine. I've got sweat pouring down my face as I type this and the thermometer in my mouth just went up over 100. There's definitely something wrong with me.
As soon as I told my wife that there was something wrong with me, I was sick, and shit in the bed, she got up and went into the guest bedroom. Depending on how high my fever is, I have to decide whether or not to dial 911. Don't want my wife's sleep to get disturbed.
It looks like my wife might get her divorce.