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MASTURBATING CAN BE TRICKY! HERE ARE A FEW TIPS FunnY

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Where to go.com:

 

 

The Source of porn is not really an issue. Internet (the best, Free+Variety), TV, movies, magazines, novel, imagination. It is strictly fantasy and so and you should never masturbate to your partner. It ruins the ACTUALL experience. 

Make sure also to be quick and quiet about it, you dont need to sit there for 30 minutes pounding away at your lap. 

Take 5-10 minutes to find some porn, and 5-7 minutes to Fap off.  Quick and Quiet.

 

Nobody needs to see that:

 

If anybody asks you if masturbate, say "Who doesn't".

 

Should the rare occasion that somebody walks in on you, DO NOT feel embarrassed or scramble to cover your junk. Simply ask them to leave and FINISH. Afterwards you can address them to let them know you are fine and moving on. Or just go about your day as if it's the most normal thing that could have happened. Because it is!!!! EVERYBODY masturbates, and those who dont, are sexually retarded.  Just be comfortable about your body and accept the nature of things. 

 

Addiction:

 

Another extreme event is the Addiction of masturbation, where one completely avoids sexual encounter with ANOTHER person and solely relies on self pleasure and depends on it enough to jerk off 3+ times a day. Now, Jerking off 3+ times a day is okay, when youre young, and you have a lot of energy and juice. But when youre in a relationship with another person, and you Still jerk off 3+ times a day and you BARELY have sex, say once or twice a week or less (God forbid), Then you have a problem... Now it's gotten to the point when fantasy has become more stimulating then reality and you should try to completely avoid masturbation for at least 2 weeks, let the urge build, and then SLAM your partner. Like any addict you must overcome this in steps. So step on bitch, and fuck your partner not your hand. 

 

 Disease:

 

You cant get too many STD's from having sex with YOURSELF but you can get a rash, if youre tugging too tight, or chaffing, if your skin dries up. All I can say for that is Loosen up the grip or use Lotion.  Either way you're safe from disease when it comes to masturbation. 

 

 Attraction:

 

You'll learn what you're attracted to: big breasts, long legs, Swelling bottom, or if you're like me, All three. The face is a big deal too. But when it comes to long-term, you want somebody who you can get along with, and that's all about the personality. Remember that if you aren't emotionally attached or attracted, your partner will eventually become unattractive regardless of how physically appealing they may be. 

 

 

 The Mess:

 

 Every Cum Shot has a 'Trajectory', Kind of like a Rocket. If you are left handed or right handed(during masturbation), if you are jerking slowly or fast, If you are more aroused or less, If it is the 1st time or the 8th time doing it that day... these little details will determine the Trajectory of your cum shot. With all these issues Accounted for, you can now see that this is merely a matter of precise calculation and attention to detail. 

 

When one has found his Designated cum shot Area make sure to keep it clean and clear of obstructions, the fool who Disregards this rule will have to face Explaining to guest or family members why his belongings seem to have suspicious Looking stains. Furthermore it is vital to keep a Kleenex box close by, if not available the next best thing would be to use your sock and then turn it inside out. Make sure to wash after. 

 


In the end it is important that you learn to experience pleasure and at the same time learn how to please. You must maintain a strong sexual appetite to ensure you breed properly and for the sake of keeping your sperm bank fresh and free of build up. Please remember that there is nothing humiliating about it and that masturbation is a part of our day, like farting or Drinking water.

 

MilkOfMagnesia Uploaded 04/22/2011
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