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As If We Hadn't Had Enough

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As If We Hadn't Had EnoughJun 8, '11 6:44 PM
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Let's see... we've had tsunamis, earthquakes, tornadoes, drought, and continued wars, plant explosions, nuclear meltdowns, hate, and greed, but that wasn't quite enough to change people's attitudes and convince them to change their ways.  So, what does God do?  He rubs his chin and points his finger at the sun, causing a huge explosion and is sending a wave of charged particles hurling toward the earth which could destroy satellites and wreck power and communications grids around the globe.  Where is the U.S.S. Enterprise when you need it?  Captain Kirk should be heading toward the sun to do a slingshot orbit around the sun to shoot the Enterprise back in time and set up an array of force shield satellites as we speak.  What?  That was just fiction?  Oh crap!

So, the people at FOX laugh and joke about it saying it isn't that bad. What's the worst that could happen if FOX isn't concerned?


The Telegraph reports.


"'It's the first major Earth-directed eruption in quite some time.'


Scientists have warned that a really big solar eruption could destroy satellites and wreck power and communications grids around the globe if it happened today.


Nasa recently warned that Britain could face widespread power blackouts and be left without critical communication signals for long periods of time, after the earth is hit by a once-in-a-generation 'space storm'."


So, what does NASA say?


"Scientists at NASA and the University of Kansas say that a mass extinction on Earth hundreds of millions of years ago could have been triggered by a star explosion called a gamma-ray burst. The scientists do not have direct evidence that such a burst activated the ancient extinction. The strength of their work is their atmospheric modeling -- essentially a 'what if' scenario."


There they go. Those stupid scientists with their numbers and book learnin'. What do they know anyway?


Here's a picture from the blog with the description.


112094main1-extinctfinal-smweb.jpg?et=vB


Image above: Scientists say that a ten-second burst of gamma rays from a massive star explosion within 6,000 light years from Earth could have triggered a mass extinction hundreds of millions of years ago. In this artist's conception we see the gamma rays hitting the Earth's atmosphere. (The expanding shell is pictured as blue, but gamma rays are actually invisible.) The gamma rays initiate changes in the atmosphere that deplete ozone and create a brown smog of NO2.

Ah, Nitrous Oxide!  At least we'll all laugh to death.

I'm not saying that this particular solar explosion is of the magnitude of the explosion described in this scenario by NASA scientists, but given the recent volume of activity here on good ol' Mother Earth, I wouldn't be surprised to see solar explosions continue and possibly even increase in magnitude.  Of course, this one could be almost as devastating as the destruction of Earth.

If the wave knocks out the communications satellites, cell phones and the Internet might not work.  Should that happen, it's likely that there would be widespread panic, massive paranoia, orgies and gay sex on the streets, and possibly an attack by those godless Commie Socialist Muslims who are bent on the destruction of all things good, anyway.  You know.  Good... like
Exxon, Merrill Lynch and Bank of America.  You'd likely see millions of suicides, too.  After all, how would life be worth living without Internet and cell phones?  Dang!  It might even knock out television broadcasts.  THAT would be the ULTIMATE disaster!  How will we know who to be afraid of then?  Where will we obtain our anxiety fixes?  If we have continued bursts from the sun, however, there may be a few more things to worry about.

"Thomas, with Dr. Charles Jackman of NASA's Goddard Space Flight Center in Greenbelt, Md., calculated the effect of a nearby gamma-ray burst on the Earth's atmosphere. Gamma rays, a high-energy form of light, can break molecular nitrogen (N2) into nitrogen atoms, which react with molecular oxygen (O2) to form nitric oxide (NO). NO will destroy ozone (O3) and produce nitrogen dioxide (NO2). NO2 will then react with atomic oxygen to reform NO. More NO means more ozone destruction. Computer models show that up to half the ozone layer is destroyed within weeks. Five years on, at least 10 percent is still destroyed."

Oh, ozone.  Who cares about ozone?  It's just something a Commie Socialist Democrat made up to make you think we needed to quit polluting the atmosphere.  I'll bet Sarah Palin doesn't care about ozone.  So, what else do these godless moron NASA scientists have to say?  I need a good laugh.

"Next Thomas and fellow student Daniel Hogan, an undergraduate, calculated the effect of ultraviolet radiation on life. Deep-sea creatures living several feet below water would be protected. Surface-dwelling plankton and other life near the surface, however, would not survive. Plankton is the foundation of the marine food chain."

Hmmm... that doesn't sound so funny.  Add that to the oil, nuclear contaminated water, and Corexit from recent disasters and it sounds like we have a recipe for disaster.  Never mind the damage the oil itself will do when it kills all of the coral reefs.  Those reefs tours were too expensive anyway.  I'm sure the news writers for FOX are smart enough to think about that, though, so there's probably nothing to be concerned about.  Drill baby, drill!


Sources:
Nasa scientists braced for 'solar tsunami' to hit earth; The Telegraph, 08 June 2011 http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/space/7923069/Nasa-scientists-braced-for-solar-tsunami-to-hit-earth.html


Pick of the Week for June 8, 2011; SDO Solar Dynamics Observatory; Goddard Flight Center;
http://sdo.gsfc.nasa.gov/

The sun sends a charged cloud hurtling our way; New Scientist; 02 August 2010http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn19252-the-sun-sends-a-charged-cloud-hurtling-our-way.html

Explosions in Space May Have Initiated Ancient Extinction on Earth"; NASA; 04.06.05
http://www.nasa.gov/vision/universe/starsgalaxies/gammaray_extinction.html

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