Many people asked me how I do it and what's the secret for being a musical genius. "Hard work" is the answer. But that's not a very accurate reply, so I've decided to share with you the complete guide on how to become a brilliant pianist (like me, for example). The following course is 100% effective and if you follow it, I assure you will become a good musician.

First of all, you have to start early. If you're over 5 years old, you might want to stop reading now.

Secondly, you have to practice at least 15 hours a day. That's the minimum.

Ask your parents to beat you whenever you try to quit. This is great motivation.

Don't learn any easy shit. Start with Chopin and play it very slow. You'll soon get the hang of it and will be able to play it faster and faster. This way you will think you can play anything, once you learn to play a piece by Johann Chopin.

Crack your finger joints as often as possible. This one's a bit controversial, cause a lot of people say it hurts your joints and you'll get arthritis or shit. Let me tell you this: I've been cracking my finger, wrist and neck joints since I was a kid and nothing happened. I play lightning fast and don't experience any joint pain. The joints that are cracked regularly are more flexible. So whenever somebody tells you that it's unhealthy, and that you should stop, reply with "Go fuck yourself, Neko says it's fine."

One of the good things about telling people to go fuck themselves is, if you do that to one of your parents, they might hit you in return for using foul language. And we already know that it motivates you to play longer. I think. Probably

So, what are you doing in front of the computer? Go to that piano and learn to shred!