so back when i was in high school, friday night, me and my friends would go party hunting, in my friends white van, we did beer runs in it all the time, this jock football player called us stating he was throwning a party and wanted us to get some booze for him, so we accepted, the first place we hit was this store call food 4 less, we knew the place cause we had been hitting since we started doing this, real simple, a group of 4 guys go in head directly to the left side of the store, while the driver in the van barks next to emergancy exit on the left side of the store, one man cuts the zip tie and kicks the door open while the 3 others rack up the booze, then all jump into van, all under 5 minutes.

we made out with 4 30 cases of beers and 2 gallons of skyy vodka, and a jim beam 5th, we got to the party and i started right away on the vodka, i kept drink it i finished 1 of the gallons to myself, which was a stupid idea ! i was so drunk i could barely even stand, my friends did the right thing and locked me in the van till they were done partying, and this is where the fun began

i was so out of it, i thought i was in the vietnam war, i could hear my heart beat, and sounds of helicopters and machine guns blaring, and im jumping around in this van! must have looked like i was going crazy because i was, after 30 or 45 mins you cant really keep track of time when your just completely wasted out of your mind, i had the need to take on of the meanest shits in my life, i snap out of the daze i was in and head stright for the side door, and it would not open i jumped to the driver seat and tried to open that as well and nothing i was locked in, so i did what had to be "done" i took a shit right on the inside steps of the van, of course i was smart enough to take my boxers off and make a rag so i can clean it up, after that i just passed out! when i came too, my friends were  draging me out of the car and we are home,

The next morning my friend came over and i explain to him that i took a shit in his van, he stated he noticed because it smelled horrid in his van and he was our ride to school, i ended up steam cleaning the whole inside of the car, and we febreze bomb the hell out of it, but for a week stright his van smelled like ass and febreze.. in other words dont over do it or your get locked up in a van and end up taking a shit in it !