I just want to know what inspired the fucking genius who invented guacamole. Are you kidding me? Take an ugly, mushy, green fruit/vegetable thingy with a shelf life of about 30 seconds and transform it into the food of the gods? Even a genius like me couldn't come up with such a brilliant culinary treat. No worries, as I'm currently developing a sexual lubricant that repels sand...perfect for those trysts on the beach or if you find yourself in the middle of the Sahara desert with Scarlett Johansson.