Watching Cowboys & Aliens will give makes your ass bleed like typhoid.  It is the latest addition in a series of summer blockbusters that have made me physically ill.  I had high hopes for this film, Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford could've been the right recipe for a legendary flick- but their parts were just pure horse shit.  Both Craig and Ford have fallen a fucking long way from grace just by participating in Cowboys & Aliens... their performances were just so awful.  Halfway through the movie my anus was hemorrhaging from all the indigestible bits of cheesy acting and lackluster storytelling that were force-fed down my throat.  Perhaps the movie's premise that 19th century cowboys could fuck up an advanced alien species with the help of a single Alien (Olivia Wilde) and a bunch of angry Native Americans was too farfetched from the get go.  Wouldn't those advanced aliens have some sort of defense against humans, using their big ass claws and lasers to vaporize EVERYONE?  How the fuck did arrows and guns kill the aliens?-  Biggest bullshite story ever.  Also- apparently Amnesia victims can regain their memory by taking Native American Ayahuasca/ LSD... I could've come up with a healthier remedy.  PLUS The Native Americans still got fucked in the end, where was their reward- the white dudes getting a bigger town and more guns?  The only people that benefited from killing the aliens were the cowboys.  Fuck Hollywood and fuck my life...  Im a little bitch and my brain hurts.

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