Like us on Facebook!

Genocide Of The Innocents

0
4

The little ones flew left and right as the instrument off death chased them down. Their little wings unable to pull away from the machine of evil that swooped down upon them like Lucifer's angel of death.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Moments before, after only a short time in this world, the little darlings flew around in paradise. Playing games, testing out their wings, swooping high and low; feeling the air pampering their little faces like cotton buds on a babies bottom.

Some naughty skamps, innocently experiment with the act of love, embrace each other's young bodies with wonder and turpitude.


Not long before this, they were all brothers and sisters in a large chamber of their birth. They snuggled up to each other for warmth and comfort. Slowly eating, sleeping and growing. Preparing for their maiden flights, that is their purpose; their calling.


So what wonder brought about their amazing creation. Was it an act of some great god, blessing them with creation? or was it the fact that a few weeks ago my girlfriend says to me "darling, can you make sure you clean out the rice maker before you put it away?" Me rolling my eyes "of course I will sweet cheeks" as I kick the rice maker to the back of the cupboard in favour of the football game I was trying to focus on.


So back to the present. Hmm I feel like some rice. As I slowly reach to open the rice maker, im not sure if its my imagination or if theres a slight humming coming from inside. I click the lid open, and to my utter disgust, a whole civilisation had been born of my rice maker. Flies and maggots and a thriving colony of micro organisms creating an existence for themselves inside the instrument of my dinner. The first break for freedom are the young flies excited at the expansion of their universe, They fly up to greet their god. Their god screeching like a little girl and running away from the embrace.


For a time they were free to explore and frolic in their new found playground. Unhindered, they stretched their wings and soared up high.


I grab the bleach and hot water and drown the colony, bubbling their little brains in the liquid of death. The baby flies seeing their home planet being destroyed head for the outer universe in panic. Their god is angry, trying to hit them with the Tea Towel Of Destruction. The little flies, many in number avoid and hide. The tea towel of death, inaccurate and leaving the few dead bodies it does manage to create scattered on the kitchen floor and surfaces. The flies laugh at the puny efforts of the false god to iradicate them and explorer the brave new world.


And then it happened...


Not willing to be outsmarted by nano brained beings, I engaged in a process usually saved for emergencies such as the daugnting question of "do you think my bum looks big in this?" A process called Thought. In my evil planning I devised to use the vacuum to suck up the little bastards that would cause my downfall from the highest power of them all... the missus... dun dun dunnnnn. As I suck up the last of the helpless innocents, and cleaned up the rice maker; the key sounds in the lock. As I look up from winding up the cord of the vacuum cleaner, the missus walks in. "wow, doing a bit of cleaning hun? You're so thoughtful" ;)


As I wash the blood of the innocents off my hands in the bathroom, feeling all James-Bond-saved-the-world-again I hear the immortal words "im just going to empty the vacuum cleaner"


'nnnnnnnnoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!'


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


This blog came about from a conversation with fuzzy about me finding a ricemaker that had been left for ages, then found with loads of flies, maggots and mold inside it. Yuck! i came up with the idea to hoover the flies up and it worked! lol We both decided to write different takes on it. (yes, thats how sad we are)


pascho Uploaded 10/10/2011
  • 280
  • 9
  • 0
  • Flag

COMMENTS

Top 5
awesome collection of funny compilation videos pictures galleries and gifs