Yes, I have to admit my fascination, my passion for...my Radio Shack Clock Radio. I know that the warmth she exudes is only due to her lovely capacitors and delectable LED display, but damn I can't resist.

My fingertips slip to her dials to caress lovingly over her ebony skin. Oh, feel the button that turns her on and changes the time...setting her alarm is ecstasy.

Never leave me, oh Radio Shack Clock Radio, you're mine to tell the time forever.