Yeah, yeah, commercials suck. But today it seems to go a lot further than just an inconvenient interruption on your regularly scheduled programming.

First off, I'm not privy to commercials, banners, or other ads when I watch my movies, shows, etc. online. There are some pretty good anti-ad software and add-ons out there. I'm surprised when someone even has ads during their surfing nowadays. But my folks are repeatedly bugging me about getting cable, satellite, or some other form of television/movie package, and don't get it when I tell them I can see whatever I want for free and never have to put up with anything they do.

And they put up with a lot. Massive satellite TV bills, a billion channels with nothing on, awkward angles for them to point their shitty remotes, and prolly above all - those fucking commercials on every channel they choose for whatever.

Naturally, the movie channels they get aren't good enough, and neither is the brand-new Roku on-demand film/TV system they just bought. The eventually end up picking something to watch on some crappy network station, and find it necessary to bitch and complain at EVERY fucking commercial break.

"Didn't we just fucking have a commercial??"
"Jesus Christ with these FUCKING reality shows!!"
"I'm so fucking sick of all these assholes with their faces buried in their
 cell phones..."
"ANOTHER fucking car commercial??"

...and it goes on. Unfortunately, I've had the opportunity to spend the past three nights over there due to my apartment getting painted. And that's pretty much how every evening has gone in 15 minute intervals.

It was hell.

Hell cuz I'm actually beginning to agree with them. Seriously, they have satellite and there really is jack shit on. So you're pretty much forced to tune into a network for an unexpected, but classic, film. Lessee... Indiana Jones, Gone With the Wind, even regular shows like Raymond and Seinfeld - they really do get ruined by commercial breaks, if you think about it.


          
                                       And they'll be waiting the second you go back outside...


It's a rarity someone like me really enjoys American movies or takes the time to bother with non-internet-viewed programming. In cases like that, I expect to enjoy what I'm watching, like those poor peeps that actually prefer their televisions. Delve into a different world. Feel every scene. Enjoy the anticipation, or just plain be able to get lulled to sleep by laugh tracks and crappy jokes.

Commercial breaks really do make it so you can't enjoy the entertainment you even pay for anymore. I want to watch my fantasy film, not look at douchebags driving Subarus and dried-up housewives Swiffering their kitchen floors. I'm getting into my shit here so I don't have to think about people like that existing at this moment in my life, ffs.


      


Same with the reality show previews. Is anyone else sick of these overtanned attention whores standing by logos with too-bright dresses? Or some sweaty asshole trying to win the best-of-the-worst-chef-apprentice-contest-cook-off bullshit? How about the stupid-ass show with the three ugly chicks and the rickety old bat? Sure, everyone loves Betty White, but if I have to see the same mini-scene followed by the four of those broads standing around on my screen one more time, I'm gonna fly to their studio and drop the sleeveless one into the tribal region of Afghanistan where we will never be plagued by those nasty, spindly things again.

But try telling my folks they have it worse by still putting up with paid television and movies... same as with anyone else who still does it any time other than when you're literally unable to return home.