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My Neighbor Is A Witch

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Ohayou, guys! Not so long ago I wrote about how to spot a witch. It's rather easy to tell one, even though some of them seem to walk in broad daylight and act more or less human. This chick next door passes as human to almost everybody around but I'm too smart for her black magic mumbo jumbo bull shit. She won't fool me.


I needed proof. When I met her at the elevator I told her she's smudged her mascara a bit, and then stood behind her with my arm in front, holding a mirror to check if she had a reflection. Unfortunately, she did reflect in the mirror, so I still wasn't sure. I asked her if she has a cat because I love cats. She said she has one. I asked what race and color and she didn't know the race and said it's multicolor - white and gray. I'm sure she lied and it's black.


She's sneaky and probably thinks she can pass for human. I have to admit, she's doing great with that. I have her photo, look at that witch. 


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I'd try to ask her some other questions more directly but I'm also afraid she could figure out I'm onto her and throw a curse at me. When I said I bought a lot of garlic bread and have to share some, because I bought too much, she wouldn't take it. That was FREE FOOD! And she didn't want it. Because it had GARLIC in it! It would probably kill her if she ate it.


I tried to trick her into lending me one of her black candles she uses for the rituals, but she gave me a purple one. Smart ass probably had one in case someone asked her to borrow a candle. Last week I bought a small frog at the pet store and placed it in the corridor, hiding behind the wall dividing the staircase from the passage way. I watched it hop around for 15 minutes but it didn't seem interested with her door. But then an amazing thing happened. When I decided to pick up the reptile and drop it at the nearby pond, the witch had to open her doors and was like "whatchu doing?" I felt awkward and said something like "my toad got away and I need to catch it." And there was my evidence - she replied with a "A toad? This looks like a frog to me." That crone knew the fucking difference! Which normal human being can tell the gender of a fucking frog? I guess frogs are female and toads are male? Or the other way around? See, they don't teach that shit in biology class. But she somehow knew. That's the proof I wanted. Witches love frogs and shit.


I have no idea how to fight a witch of her level. She seems like a powerful one. I've seen her walk in broad daylight. She can project her reflection in the mirror. I wouldn't be surprised if she's also less susceptible to silver bullets. I assess her age at around 700 years, although she looks like a human female in her 20s. She either produces some kind of a youth potion, or she does the old school trick of having a daughter and when she turns 15 she does some ritual that allows her to possess her body. I've read somewhere that witches do that. The latter option is the more probable one.


She scares the shit out of me. It might be a great idea I sign up for the shooting range. A gun might be useful too, but I'm not sure which models can shoot silver bullets. I know Tomlet is an expert in fire arms, maybe he can put some light on the matter.

shylilazn Uploaded 06/20/2012
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