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300 TWO?

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Do you sometimes watch the trailers for new movies and wonder what drugs the people who came up with these ideas were taking? Or how did the movie producers agree to pay for that shit? WHY did famous actors agree to play in it?


You most probably remember Samuel Jackson's awesome role in Snakes On A Plane. I didn't watch it, but I know what it is. Unlike epic movies like Terminator 2: Rise Of The Machines, or Bad Boys 2, today's sequels try to give you the same shit packed with more action, stupidity and special effects. But the announcement of 300 getting a sequel is plain hilarious.


300 Two is a story of the defeated king Leonidas, who survives the Persian attack. His 300 Spartan warriors got decimated because of treachery. Otherwise, they would probably succeed in defending the pass. Either way, they have won that day, because the army of 300 men kept the Persian army occupied long enough for Sparta to raise an army.


As I have mentioned already, Leonidas survived. He suffers from temporary amnesia and is being hospitalised in one of the villages, where no one recognised him (his faced is covered with bandages). Every one in the village thinks he's one of the local warriors. After a while, Leonidas wakes up in a space ship, surrounded by aliens. It turned out that they didn't want to shock him at first, so they used holograms. They replaced the warrior's shattered arm with a bionic one and gave him a cybernetic eye. They also pumped some juice into his nerve and muscle systems, so he's even more powerful. 


The aliens' space ship crashed and they need precious minerals to fix it. That's why they have to defeat the army of the local city. They need help from Leonidas, who is supposed to be one of the few Spartans the aliens put together as cyborgs. Leonidas tries to hide his identity and doesn't want to attack the village, but he has no choice. The aliens put an implant in his head that causes agonising pain when he doesn't fulfill his orders. Outnumbered by the enemy army, with a handful of his warriors, he must defeat thousands of heathens on his way to the precious ore, and on the way think of a plan to defeat the aliens.


The question that you ask yourself when you hear the plot is... SERIOUSLY? This must be one of the stupidest ideas in Hollywood in years. What's next? Marathon, The Movie?

shylilazn Uploaded 08/23/2012
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