Aren't you angry when there's a new Elder Scrolls game coming and you can't get vacation time? You need weeks, maybe a month to play this awesome game and there's work in the way. Fortunately, there's some great ways to get a lot of paid vacation time. For FREE.

1. Break your leg

The most classic method, known to mankind for centuries. When you decide to break your leg you need to know two things - you get insurance money when you break it in your work place and you need to break it the right way if you don't want to get a limp. 

How to do it: Ask a hammer expert to be your accomplice. Find a spot at your company that doesn't have cameras monitoring you. Your friend should hit you with the narrow side of the hammer in the middle of your fibula. It should break easily and heal fast. The next step is to scream and lay down a staircase. Easy.

2. Kidnap yourself

This is rather tricky, because they can't find you for a few weeks. If you want to decide on this method, you need to have a lot of cash.

How to do it: Buy a basement or a container at the docks. The more desolate the place, the better. You have to remember not to give your name to the place's owner, because that could lead to you eventually. Once you have the place for yourself, equip it with a lot of food and water supplies, and, of course, a computer you're gonna be playing your new favorite game on. It's important you have electricity and internet access there, so you need to ask for the Prestige versions of dock containers if you decide on this one. Use a disposable phone to call someone that you have been kidnapped and they want money. You'll look miserable after a few weeks of living in your safe haven, so it's gonna be easy to bull shit people you've escaped after weeks of captivity.

3. Hook your boss up with a tranny

This is a tricky one, because it doesn't always work, but when it does, you can have all the vacation time you need. And even get a raise.

How to do it: Pay a ladyboy to hit on your boss. Be sure to follow them and document the meeting with a lot of photos. Especially when they get to the hotel and into a room. What happens after doesn't matter, because even if the tranny gets thrown out of the room when the pickle enters the scene, you inject your boss with a sedative and do a nice photo session with the tranny.

4. Set fire to the office

Oh shit, there was a fire! Be sure to do it right so that the insurance company doesn't find any gasoline. A simple installation malfunction will do the trick.

How to do it: read some manuals about the safe usage of electrical devices and do the opposite of what they say.

5. Marry someone rich

The safest solution might also be the worst in the long run. You might wanna scroll back up to the leg breaking example or the tranny one. Only do this if you're sure you won't pull off the other methods.

How to do it: Find someone rich and spoiled. Act like a door mat. Marry them.

These are the most popular examples. They have all been tested and they are 100% effective. Perhaps you have a different method? Share it with us in the comment section