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Screw You Guys, I am Omnist Now

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Yes, I believe in all religions now, even though they contradict each other. Not only do I believe in all gods or no god but I can do so without even having to go to church. The only church I will be attending is Catholic mass and that is only because they serve wine and a snack at "halftime". After that I will go confess my sins while committing a sin or two.


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This is the snack they give you. They look like the "old school groovers" I used to take in the early 90's in Miami. But they are food, sort of. These biscuits could use some jelly or chocolate icing or something.
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Look what you get to drink out of ! I didn't think Lil John was Catholic. I guess you learn something new everyday. Catholic people get crunk, that is how they roll.

Now I am off to the synagogue. Now that I am jewish I can be rich. And wear a hat too. Just look at this fancy cap.

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I ordered one with a dollar sign on it and one with a red sox emblem because the yankees suck. I can't wait until my Bar Mitsvah! I will be come a real man. My rabbi said I have to be 13 but I gave him a fifty and he said I could do what I want. I will tell you I would rather give my rabbi money than give my Priest what he wants. At these Bar Mitsvahs you get money and hookers and a nice dinner and then you become a man. God I love being jewish.

So gay marriage is legal now and what better place place to get married to your gay partner than at a muslum mosque. If you didn't know me and Hardasnails are getting married. I call him my snugglebear because he is neither hard nor a nail. I figured muslim people like gay people because the men wear dresses. I picked out a gown for Hardasnails. Look.
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He will be wearing white but he is not a virgin. Unfortunately after I marry him I will have to have my uncle kill him because he has been a naughty boy. It is so tough being Muslim sometimes.

Since today is Christmas I will be celebrating this with the christain people. In this religion they believe in a God of presents. His name is Santa clause. Here is a photo me and hardasnails took earlier today.
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Santa gave us matching speedos. I can't wait til we get home so I can make hardasnails live up to his name. Toodleloo and Merry xmas.
Stay tuned for my next religious adventure.
Hiesenburg Uploaded 12/25/2012
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