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Deunan for Dummies...

 Since most of the "bloggers" (ha) on this site don't know me (unbelievable) I have decided to post Deunan for Dummies. Yes I just called you dumb, deal with it! Upon opening this blog you will automatically be billed $9.95. Before you get all butt hurt over losing a portion of the money the government gives you to sit around on your fat ass, try to look at it as an investment. What you will learn from me is worth more than you will make in a lifetime. Remember, I AM THE SECOND GREATEST BLOGGER IN EBW HISTORY! Long live her Royal Blogness Strghtjcktgrl, affectionately known as SJG.
For the few of you who DO know who I am...no fee will be charged. You are my friends, the rest of you are my followers. Prepare yourselves for EPIC BLOGISHNESS!!! Also known as Deunanism!!! 
In the likely event that you get confused or even become frightened, remember that you are being taken on a journey into a realm where only true "bloggers" dwell. As I said in a comment recently..."blogger" is a title that must be earned. After reading a few pages of what this community refers to as "blogs" I can only say..."You have much to learn". There are a few exceptions. A scant few of you have obviously read Deunan for Dummies. The remainder of you need guidance. Do not be ashamed. Words cannot just simply be written to completely convey the essence of the story/tale/fantasy, whatever, you are trying to share. I will teach you how to make your blogs seduce and make warm, passionate love to their readers. I will teach you how to impart emotions the likes of which can only be described as...indescribable. 
Come, let me be your guide and I will have you longing for my "next" blog with blatant impatience. You will experience, love, hate, anger, jealousy, betrayal, fantasy, humor.....(the list and range of emotion never end). With me you will learn not only to tell a story but to involve your readers on a level akin to a religious experience. 
With me as your guide future generations will tell OUR stories to their children with pure reverence and true love of the written word. With me you will learn to truly............................BLOG!  

Poet, writer, literary wonder...Deunan
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