The Kingdom of eBaum's. The Fall of Neko. S1 E2
Against the advisement of GIJoe and MajorFathead, I quietly entered into the realm of the infamous Neko. I had to know the truth of Neko. The mystery behind all the hate that filled the air like an unkempt chamber pot was hard to bare, but bare it I must. For to believe something so horrifically vile lived in this world gripped me so strongly, pragmatism evaporated like witches breath.
" Before you go further Letemdangle, know this". No_U cackled from his perch atop the Hissing tree that served as Neko's threshold. "You cannot win, there is nothing to be gained here, only madness".
Ignoring his warning, I entered the evil den filled with darkness where there should be light, ugliness when beauty was promised, shrieks of kittens instead of music filled the air. Even the air, choked my lungs and squeezed them bare.
As I hid behind a tree, a figure appeared between pearly gates. What creature was this? It had to be the wicked witch of the East, Neko! Neither man nor woman, perhaps a big mouse? It let out a squeak and then it began to speak. " I swear unto you my Lord Jiggaboo, I will crush all that is good, all that is right in the Castle Blog. I will stamp down the minstrel, drive mad all royalty, even the court jester will not survive the fight. There must never be a measure of learning, a tad of good. Intelligent discourse will be covered in pigs fat, smothered, broiled and fed to my goblins just like it should. For I am the wordsmith, Dragon slayer and destroyer of truth. They, the ignorant vermin that occupy your land."
" I'll skewer them and let them rot till the flesh falls from their bones feeding the maggots and all of my cats. Flies will fill the kingdom, like black velvet curtains flowing in air. No one for certain will ever be spared not even that dork, Letemdangle, for he will be burnt."
"I'll send in my minions of alts to thumb up my comments and fill the sky with stars as I enter the kingdoms, so that others will think me great and tremble in my presence."
"I'll start with the minstrel, the teller of stories the voice of good song. Rednote will rage and with so much hatred from my unending babble he will not endure. I'll use all of my magic from spamming to rumours and pretend I can out do him in presenting a song."
"My keyboard is prept with all my cool kitties. I'll start a campaign and spam the kingdom while I hum along."
"I'll sharpen my wit by playing scrabble with my most intelligent friends. My winnings will be legendary, as I make up words and strike down the rabble rousers who try to defend good language and fair play."
And so it was, Neko went into the Castle Blog to devour it's citizens, but the hold was tougher than even she imagined. However, Neko could not fail even if it meant her, her life. She conjured up spells that even the Mods in heaven warned her against. But the temptation was too much, the fruit ripe for the picking, she struck a deal with the Devil. Rednote the minstrel, filled with hatred and anger went mad and left our great castle. Straightjacketgirl broken hearted, died from exposer to the witches cold breath. In all the confusion we lost our beloved court jester, Milestyles who always brought good cheer.
The good citizens did pray to the Mods of Heaven to protect the good castle and make it right. The Mods dispatched PepperPeanut the Knight of Trite. He followed the law, unwilling to bend, despite his failures. He banished Neko from all the Kingdom for using magic reserved only for the Mods, but it was too late, the damage done.
Letemdangle Uploaded 02/05/2013