The Depths of My Insomnia
Well, here I am again. It's 3:43 in the morning and I have yet to fall asleep. This would be looked at as a typical night for me, but the funny thing is I have already taken two sleeping pills -- and I am not talking about over the counter pills. My doctor prescribed me Ambien and I have been taking Melatonin for the past year. So five hours ago I took my sleeping pills and here I am now.
For the past five hours, I have been laying in bed wondering why the fuck I can't fall asleep. I haven't been on the computer or doing anything productive -- just laying here.
What the fuck is wrong with me? I have some kind of incurable insomnia, it doesn't go away no matter what. I talk to other people who take Ambien and they say that there is no way in hell they would take more than one of those pills. I must be in the placebo group then because fuck I can't sleep for anything.
Do you think they'd do that to me? Actually put me on a placebo version of a pill and then ask me how my results were? They aren't that dick... are they? Seriously. I don't drink caffeine, I haven't had any, and I woke up early today.
WHY THE BLOODY HELL AM I AWAKE RIGHT NOW?
...I just want to be able to sleep. You don't think my life is going to turn out like Fight Club or The Machinist do you? Shit I don't know if I can handle that right now, I have to go back to school. AUUUGH.