5 Insane Drug Smuggling Schemes
Ahhhh drug smuggling. A very lucrative high risk industry. If you can pull it off you can make millions. If not, you'll most likely be arrested, killed, or be on an episode of Locked Up Abroad at the very least. From the stupidest things you have ever heard of, to the most ingenious, they are all insane in their own right. Here a just a few insane drug smuggling schemes:

5)    People smuggle drugs to inmates in coloring books
    Inmates in a jail located in New Jersey were given coloring books with a paste on the pages that the inmates licked or ate to get high. Five people are charged with the crime in Cape May county. The guards just thought the inmates were very hungry. (http://abcnews.go.com/US/drugs-smuggled-nj-inmates-kids-coloring-books/story?id=13255368). I'd eat coloring book too. I hear the food is just awful.

    A paste containing Suboxone, an opiate, was used to color pages of Snow White, Cinderella and other characters. Snow what was the pure shit. Cinderella was just garbage. 

    An inmate tipped off guards that it was coming in on coloring books on pages with orange paint. No one thought anything suspicious being inmates who received  pictures from children. And apparently eating the pictures was normal as well. They must have thought the orange stuff was flavored orange. 

4)    Mexicali drug cannon
    A cannon using compressed air was used to shoot thirteen kilo loads of drugs over the border into California. Mexican police were told by the US that they have been confiscating packets of marijuana that appear to have been fired over the border. (http://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/feb/27/marijuana-cannon-us-border-seized-mexico). Apparently they got bored with the usually methods of smuggling and wanted to get creative. 
 
"Here we go. Yeah I was really high when I made this but I think that it will work."

There isn't much more information than that. The authorities involved were probably intrigued by their ingenuity that they were more impressed than than anything else.

3)    Ketamine smuggled in holy water
    Ketamine mixed in holy water was seized at the Canadian border. There were forty bottles of it mixed with other religious items being taken over the border by a man from New York. A drug dog detected there was something strange going on with the holy water. Maybe he was in a bad place and needed a religious experience.

    A resident from Barbados was charged with the crime and may face deportation for importing the drug. (http://www.artem.ca/news-unrelated-to-me/97-holy-water-used-to-smuggle-drugs). There is no other information from the incident. It has been reported that the drug dog was saved and has now found faith in religion.

2)    Cocaine submarine
    American authorities have intercepted a submarine containing over 16,870 pounds of cocaine. These are improvised submarines used specifically for smuggling drugs. The first one reported was in 1993. (http://www.businessinsider.com/narco-submarine-with-8-tons-of-cocaine-2015-7)
 
It is reported that the cocaine cartels now have an official NAVY force with an air force in the works.

1)    91 year old man arrested for smuggling cocaine
Victor Twartz was a retired surgeon. He is the oldest person to ever be charged with drug smuggling. Twartz was caught importing about five kilos of cocaine from India to Australia. Drug dealers have been talking to him through e-mail for months and scammed him into importing the drugs without knowing what he was doing. http://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2015/aug/11/91-year-old-sydney-man-charged-over-importing-5kg-of-cocaine-in-soap-bars
    Here's the first insanity that I noticed. For one thing, how do you talk to people for months via e-mail about importing bars of soap? Did he not think that they could ship it through the mail from India? Or why couldn't they bring it themselves?
 
"These are bars of soap. Definitely not cocaine. We are asking you to do it because we're terrified of flying. If any of these are missing we will kill you. This is very expensive soap."

    Being a religious man, he quoted the Bible saying those involved should be cast into a "lake of fire". Even Jesus won't forgive a drug smuggler. 
    The commander of Australia's federal police, David Stewart, would not say what he was promised as a payment for his services. They knew he was religious and told him that they were disciples of Jesus and they would give him a prime piece of real estate in Heaven. He fell for it once they told him how good the view would be.

    The drug dealers gave him a bag just before he boarded the plane telling him the bag was filled with gifts for a friend in Australia. Why did he not see it odd that they wouldn't take the gifts to this friend themselves? Better yet, what kind of gift is a bag with twenty-seven bars of soap in it? This friends body odor carries for miles.

I'm sure that he thought, "All this soap for a friend? He must really need it. Nothing weird about this at all. Why were the people who gave me the soap snorting it?"