10 Mental Disorders You May Not Have Heard Of
    Being as I have an array of mental disorders, I have always been intrigued by them. Especially the ones that are rare and strange. Here are ten strange disorders that you may not have heard of.

10) Walking corpse syndrome
    This is not when you wake up and are so exhausted and tired that you feel dead. This is where you really believe that you are dead or simply do not exist. The person who has it may not be able to recognize themselves. Hers is a specific case where a teenager spent three years thinking she was dead. 
    
"Am I dead or alive? The days are always so gloomy and dull I can't even tell anymore."

    After her parents got divorced she was sitting in English class when she got the sensation that she may be dead. The school nurse couldn't find anything wrong and probably shrugged it off and said, "this bitch is crazy and is probably on some crazy drugs." She thought she could eat whatever she wanted because dead people don't gain weight. 
 
Fat people on Rascal scooters are believe to be about fifteen years dead.

    Through therapy and fucking Disney movies she has managed to overcome the disorder. Probably because having to sit through an entire Disney movie is worse than death.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2911387/Teenager-spent-three-years-life-thinking-DEAD-Walking-Corpse-Syndrome.html

9)    Alice in Wonderland disorder
    This is a visual neurological disease where the afflicted appear to see things much smaller than they actually are. Objects can seem far away or extremely close at the same time. Something as big as a bus may appear to seem impossibly small. While in other cases things seem massive.

http://www.alternet.org/personal-health/12-quirky-mental-disorders-you-havent-heard-about
 
    
"We're supposed to fit into this bus? No fucking way in hell. My shit is bigger than this thing."

    It is known to be linked to other mental disorders and psychoactive drugs. 
 
    "Can't tell if I'm crazy or just tripping major balls." - Alice in Wonderland

8)    Self-cannibalism
    This is where someone exhibits self mutilating behavior or rarely consumes parts of their own body. Majority of cases result in compulsive lip and finger biting. It occurs exclusively in boys and 60% of patients have to have their teeth removed so they can't consume themselves. One patient has been brought to an emergency room after cutting his right thigh open and eating the flesh.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4162732/
 
"Why no. I'm not a meth head. I just like to occasionally consume parts of my own body. As a result, I had to have my teeth removed."

7)    Lycanthropy
    A disorder where people believe they are an animal or being transformed into one. It possible for the disorder to occur in a dream and then become reality. This disorder is why some people claim to be a werewolf.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Werewolf
 

Michael J Fox thought that werewolf dream he had was just a dream and would never become reality. Was he sure wrong or what?

6)    Alien hand syndrome
    A person with this disorder claims they cannot control their hands. It occurs as a mix up in the left and right sides of the brain or from broken brain wires. One patient said this,  “I would make a telephone call and this hand would hang up the phone…I would light a cigarette and this one would put it out. I would be drinking coffee and this hand would dump it." I don't know about you but this would be a great claim to get out sexual harassment situations. Ever wanted to know how good the neighbors boobs felt like? Give 'em a squeeze and then claim to have this disorder. I'm sure she will understand. It does not involve boners, so you may have to get creative to explain that.

http://www.alternet.org/personal-health/12-quirky-mental-disorders-you-havent-heard-about
 
        
"I'm so sorry. I have this disorder thing. I didn't mean to grab you like that. And yes this boner is absolutely part of it."

5)    Foreign accent syndrome
    This is a speech disorder that causes one to speak with an accent not native to them. Often caused by a stroke, brain injury, or traumatic brain trauma. Speech remains normal and not distorted. In some cases there is nothing discovered to cause the disorder. These people are just racist and like to make fun of foreigners.

https://www.utdallas.edu/research/FAS/about/
 
"I swear I'm not making fun of you. I have a speech disorder. And yes it totally makes me pull my eye lids to look like I'm Chinese."

4)    Genital retraction syndrome
    I call this the penis panic disorder. It occurs in men and women who believe their assets are shrinking and will retract into their abdomens causing them to die. It mostly occurs in Southeast Asian countries where Mass Penis Panic is a country wide epidemic. It is not a disorder if someone with big tits or a big dick brags about it. They are just an asshole.

http://www.alternet.org/personal-health/12-quirky-mental-disorders-you-havent-heard-about
 
"Dude! You're fine! You're not gunna die. You just have a small dick. Stop letting this shit get to you head. Hey, some women like small dicks."

3)    Paris syndrome
    Occuring exclusively in Asian tourists who visit Paris, it is a disorder caused by severe culture shock. They think of the city as a wonderful place until they get there and realize it isn't as great as they thought. The Japanese embassy has a 24 hour hotline dedicated to treating this disorder. Japanese tourists who come into contact with, say, a rude French waiter, will be unable to argue back and be forced to bottle up their own anger which eventually leads to a full mental breakdown.

http://listverse.com/2007/10/13/top-10-bizarre-mental-disorders/

"Paris isn't what I thought it would be It's filled with asshole and smells like rotten cheese. It's not a problem. I'm just gunna snap and go on a rampage."

2)    Capgras syndrome
    A disorder where someone believes that a spouse or other family member has been replaced by an imposter. Most common with schizophrenia, dementia, or brain injury. 

One case report said the following:
Mrs. D, a 74-year old married housewife, recently discharged from a local hospital after her first psychiatric admission, presented to our facility for a second opinion. At the time of her admission earlier in the year, she had received the diagnosis of atypical psychosis because of her belief that her husband had been replaced by another unrelated man. She refused to sleep with the impostor, locked her bedroom and door at night, asked her son for a gun, and finally fought with the police when attempts were made to hospitalize her. At times she believed her husband was her long deceased father. She easily recognized other family members and would misidentify her husband only.

http://listverse.com/2007/10/13/top-10-bizarre-mental-disorders/

"Back the fuck up grandma! I killed all the other cyborg imposters and you're next! Wait. Why are they all filled with blood and organs? Oh shit."

1)    Jumping Frenchman of Maine
No this is not some kind of weird theatrical play. This is a real disorder. It is thought to be caused by an extreme conditioned response to a particular situation influenced by cultural factors. Pretty much people with this disorder very easily freak the fuck out. They may act by  jumping, screaming, flailing their arms, hitting, or throwing objects. This is commonly called the "You're just a gigantic bitch disorder."

https://rarediseases.org/rare-diseases/jumping-frenchmen-of-maine/
 
"Mike! Calm down man! Drop the gun! It was just a fly! Take it easy!"