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Michael Phelps Facts

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1. Michael Phelps is Obama’s and McCain’s plan for alternative energy to power America. 2.Scientists have recently had to rewrite Newton’s Three Laws of motion- I.Newton’s First Law is wrong: Even if an external force is applied to Michael Phelps he will remain in the Michael Phelps state of motion. II.Newton’s Second Law now states: The relationship between an object’s mass and its acceleration is the force Michael Phelps applies to them. III.Newton’s Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to Michael Phelps’ butterfly stroke. 4.Salmon learned to swim upstream from Michael Phelps. 5.Originally Steven Spielberg wanted Michael Phelps to play Jaws. Unfortunately they didn’t have a fast enough camera. 6.Michael Phelps once swam so fast, he reversed the Earth's rotation. He then turned around and set it back. 7.The "Maxim Hot 100 List" is just a copy of Michael Phelps’ address book. 8.Michael Phelps' blood type is H2O. 9.On the periodic table of the elements, Mp is the new symbol for gold. 10.Contrary to popular belief, the tides are not caused by the moon's gravitational pull. It's the water trying to get closer to Michael Phelps. 11.The cereal formerly known as "Wheaties" will now and forever be known as "Phelps Phlakes". 12.The only person that Mr. T doesn't pity is Michael Phelps. It's probably because Mr. T doesn't have half as much gold around his neck as Michael Phelps does. 13.The loch ness monster has never been found because it is hiding from Michael Phelps. 14.Flying fish learned to fly to get away from Michael Phelps. 15.Michael Phelps practices by swimming up the Niagara Falls. 16.When tugboats can't do their job, they call Michael Phelps. 17.Galaxies spiral because Michael Phelps used to do laps around them. 18.It only rains when Michael Phelps needs a drink. 19.The British Isles were created after Michael Phelps got bored of swimming through water and decided to just swim straight through the ground. 20.Michael Phelps will melt his gold medals down and use them as water in his pool. When Aquaman grows up, he wants to be Michael Phelps. 2.Even Candlejack leaves Michael Phelps alone. 3.The Flash wonders how he can be as fast as Michael Phelps. 4.Michael Phelps’ heart pumps twice as much blood as the average human’s heart. Blood made of the failed Olympic dreams of everyone that has raced against him. 5.When Iraq was going badly, George Bush sent a surge to quell the uprising. That surge was Michael Phelps. 6.Michael Phelps went to participate in a boat race. The officials asked him where his speedboat was. Michael Phelps just laughed. 7.Jesus walks on water cause Michael Phelps says he can. 8.Without using a surfboard Michael Phelps beat the Silver Surfer in a space race. 9.Moses can part the sea with the help of God, but Michael Phelps parts the sea every time he goes for a swim. 10.The tides actually change according to Michael Phelps’ training. Other Little Known Facts Michael Phelps can light a wet cigarette just by swimming past it. 2.Scientists have proven that global warming is actually caused by the heat generated from the sun reflecting off of Michael Phelps’ gold medals. 3.Michael Phelps never gets Decompression Sickness. He swims so fast that his inner organs don’t have time to realize he’s touched the bottom and returned to the surface. 4.Michael Phelps swam through the Bermuda Triangle, found Atlantis, explored the wreckage of the Titanic and saw Bigfoot (odd, I know) all in a single dive and without scuba gear. 5.They use Phelps' swimming tapes as the base for instructional classes for Shamu at Sea World. 6.The only way to beat Michael Phelps at Marco Polo, is to be a fish out of water. 7.Einstein said nothing can go faster than the speed of light, unfortunately he never met Michael Phelps. 8.When Michael Phelps swims in a pool, he’s not pushing himself forward, he’s pushing the world back. 9.Michael Phelps never drains the bath tub, he tells the water to "get out."
Axiomreturns Uploaded 08/24/2008
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