I'm an idiot.
I found this pregnant, abandoned cat the other day.
I spent most of last night rubbing her belly and feeling the babies move and telling her it was okay that she was a slut. My mother came over and we decided that she must have 4 or 5 babies cooking in there. When she stood up, her hoo-ha looked swollen so we decided that she was almost ready to blow. I put up flyers and patiently waited and hoped that someone would claim their precious little girl. Hmmm Precious is a good name. Yes, I shall call her Precious.
I dedided that she should go to the vet as she looks kind of beat up--wow I am such a good person. I feel awfully good about myself for taking in this poor creature.
So as it turns out--according to the incredible people at Timonium Animal Hospital, she has a split eyelid, a broken tooth, fleas, a puncture hole in her tail, and her tail is broken. Poor baby! Now here is the best part, I excitedly ask about her babies and when they think she might give birth.
This is when the vet begins to laugh, then the tech begins to laugh. The vet turns the cat around and pushes something out. Well me oh my, it was a penis and balls. My pregnant girl, that I was so upset that someone would put out, is just a really fat boy.
I adopted HIM and put him on a diet, flea control, and antibiotics.
HE is on the mend. I am currently taking suggestions for names though as PRECIOUS is not quite fitting and TUBBY BASTARD just doesn't sit well with me.