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Want to call out sick?

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It is 6 am and you are just about to throw your alarm out of the window. It is way too cold outside, you're tired, you drank a liiiittle too mutch at the party last night, you're flat has to be cleaned up, et cetera, et cetera.

"I'll just call out sick", you mumble to yourself. "They can go one day without me anyways."

And so, you leave a message at the voicemail of your boss, telling you are almost dying and put up your hourse voice. (BTW, don't forget to cough every now and then!)

 

THE ART OF DECEPTION.

Jobbing mall has recently been paying close attention to some employees who call out sick for a fake reason.

The most popular reason is the good ol' fashion rest. Almost 23 procent of the employees said they just wanted to get some sleep. 17 procent said they simply didn't felt like working, 16 procent claimed that they had to see the doctor and 9% procent said they had to deal with personal stuff...

 

EXTENDED WEEKENDS!

38 procent of the employees said that they see their *sickness days* as simple days off. The most popular day to call out sick is wednesday where 27 procent of the employees try to evase their mid-week-bad-day. However the extended weekends are pretty tempting as well with a very good 26% of the employees who called out sick on monday and a 16 procent on friday.

 

YOUR BOSS IS NOT A FOOL!

63% of the bosses said they are pretty suspicious against the employees who call out sick at mondays and fridays. Polls also showed us that 1/4th of the bosses even fire the employees who call out sick for a fake reason.

 

I WAS KIDNAPPED BY ALIENS!

We asked what the most unusual excuses were that employees used to justify not coming to work. Some managers gave a few examples:

  • I am too drunk to drive.
  • I accidentally flushed away my carkeys.
  • I helped a woman giving birth on the road to work
  • The snake of my friend escaped and i'm too scared to leave my room.
  • I accidentally ran into the automatic garage door before it opened.
  • I'm too fat to fit in my work uniform.
  • God didn't wake me (employee didn't believe in alarms and thought that God would awake her when she is ready do be awakened)
  • I've cut my fingernails too short and now they're bleeding. I have to go to the doctor.
  • The ghosts in my house kept me awake all night.
  • I forgot today was my wedding day.
  • A cow bit me.
  • My son fell asleep next to wet cement and his foot fell into the cement... Now he's stuck.
  • I hurt my back after i slipped over a frog while i was walking with my dog.
  • I'm a couch potato

 

CONCLUSION

Calling out sick is naughty and santa won't like it!

Laccio Uploaded 09/10/2008
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