I have this friend who I like to refer to as Lauren because that’s her name. I’ve mentioned her before. We dated for a few months and I fell in love with her but she was too emotionally healthy to date a wreck like me and ended falling for another guy. So it goes.

Lauren majored in literature and always encourages me to write. She likes to read my blogs but today told me I needed to start using spell check.  I always proofread the crap I write and was fairly sure my spelling was accurate but to humor her I ran my last 2 blogs through spell check. Fuck. There were more red lines than on an emo kid’s wrists.

She told me that even though I am smart, the poor spelling makes me look stupid. “Like a guy who’s really good looking but has BO?” I asked.

“Exactly,” she said, “and I’m just trying to help your writing not stink.”

I was a bit mortified by the number of typos and blatant misspellings I posted. I am a bit of a prick in reading other peoples’ work. I’m always bitching that people misspell they’re/there/their or your/you’re.

I smugly yell at the screen, “Don’t end a sentence in a preposition. It’s ‘especially and escape, not eXpecially and eXcape! There is no ‘s’ at the end of ‘anyway’!!!

The upshot is that I promised Lauren that I would write my blogs in MS Word from now on and spell check them. It made me humble. When it comes to humility, I am the best.