Arachnopeptic fit (n.) The frantic dance performed just after you've accidently walked through a spider web.

Bozone (n.) The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Cashtration (n.) The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

Caterpallor (n.) The colour you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating

Decaflon (n.) The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

Dopelar Effect (n.) The tendancy of stupid ideas to seem smarter when you come at them rapidly.

Extraterrestaurant (n.) An eating place where you feel you've been abducted and experimented on. Also known as ET'ry.

Faunacated (adj.) How wildlife ends up when its environment is destroyed. Hence faunacatering (n.), which has made a meal of many species.

Grantarctica (n.) The cold, isolated place where arts companies without funding dwell.

Hemaglobe (n.) The state of the world.

Intaxication (n.) Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Kinstipation (n.) A painful inability to move relatives who come to visit.

Lullabuoy (n.) An idea that keeps floating into your head and prevents you from drifting off to sleep.