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You don't realize what you have until it's gone

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I'm not really sure how to start this out.  But, here it goes.  I work as a pharmacy technician at Walgreen's in Chicago, and i've been employed there for about a year now.  I love my job because of the people I work with in my store.  One of my co-workers, Jen, was one of the first people I met when I started my job.  We're the same age and have everything in common, especially music.  I quickly discovered that she had played bass for quite some time, and was also involved with mastering vocals.  For those of you do not know me, I am a 23-yr old guitarist and LOVE writing and playing music.  I recently posted a blog about my new recording of a song, which a lot of you liked, and I was delighted to hear your responses.  But back to my friendship of an awesome person.  We always joked about starting a band together with my friends (drummer and other guitarist), and about 3 months ago we finally had a practice.  We went in cold trying to write our own music, and it didn't turn out too well.  But we found that Jen was an awesome bassist AND vocalist.  Incredible!  We figured after a few practices of getting used to each other's talents and techniques, we'd be damn good (every one of us is musically inclined).  In fact our next practice is this friday and we're excited about it!

Well early this morning around modnight (09/17/08), I had just gotten home from a horrible, busy night of work, and I sat down and went on my computer.  Jen was online and we were talking to each other humorously through instant messenger because that's what we do.  We're goofy people.  Into our conversation, she introduced the fact that she had been seeing this guy whom she really liked, but found out that he secretly had a girlfriend.  Very upset, she stated that she was drinking shots of gin (not particularly one of my favorites), but nonetheless, she was rather pissed.  She told me that I was a really good friend and that she was super stoked about getting the band going.  "Fuck guys, I'm not going to let this bother me."  I told her I would see her Friday at practice, and I didn't get a response.  I just figured she maybe left her computer on and passed out from the shots she had taken.

So I woke up today, got my haircut super short, and had a nice long day off.  My mom left me a note to cut the grass because it was so god damned long from the immense amount of rain we've gotten in the past 2 weeks.  I gassed up the lawnmower and saw my mom pull into the driveway from work, and I waved to her while jamming out on my ipod.  Around 4:30pm today about an hour and a half ago, my mom came outside with phone in her hand and said "It's Rob, and he says it's important."  Rob is the drummer for our band, whom also works at Walgreens (Walgreen's band).  "Hello."  "Chris.......Jen's dead."  These words paralyzed me and I could not find air for my lungs to breathe.  Stunned.  She had apparently gone out driving after I had talked to her and rolled her vehicle while intoxicated. 

I lost a good friend today, and she will be missed.  I will not be going to practice on Friday, rather, to her wake.  I pray for her family and all of those really close to her.  I've never lost a friend before, until today.  It hurts.  You really don't know what you have until it's gone forever.  I'm going to write a song for her, and make sure it's on our first cd.  We'll miss you Jen.

zigsgsx97 Uploaded 09/17/2008
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